The end of an era....

Well it has come to the time..... I had hoped that the last month I would write many blog entries, attempt daily posts, but unfortunately with the crazy construction project (from the flood) in our house, a two week trip to FL with the boys and just taking care of my little men I just never found the time... so it brings me to my final post... which I am sure I will not be able to get through without some tears shed on my end....

This past year has brought me more happiness then I have ever thought possible and quite honestly more then I think I deserve. I wished my whole life to be a mother and I am still in awe every day that I was blessed with not just one baby, but two.

I don't think I will ever forget the long road we had to finally get the news that we were expecting, seeing two pink lines on my home pregnancy test, the excitement when my mother in law and I heard "baby a has a heartbeat" and then "baby b has a heartbeat" at our first ultrasound, telling Pat who was over 1000 miles away we were having twins, holding his hand when we found out (yes I was shocked) that it was two boys, a few scary trips to the ER and who could forget the months of bedrest..... followed by the ups and downs of the NICU.... and now typing this one handed holding one sweet sleeping boy in my arm and one sweet sleeping boy right next to me

It still amazes me when I look at them that they are our babies, and words can not express the love I have for them. Sometimes I can't help myself when I give them a hug or watch them while they sleep it just brings tears to my eyes.... I am so so thankful for our family.

Of course I am also thankful for all of you who have supported us through our journey, reading along, checking in, prayers sent our way and for all of the ears that have listened to me and lifted my spirits, telling me everything would be ok, just when I needed to hear it... you were right. Everything is ok... in fact, better then ok.

Weston and Jamison have come off their heart monitors and are growing so fast. My "little peanut" is no longer the peanut. Weston has now become the "big guy" at 13lbs 1oz, Jamison, my "big Bubba" is coming in at 12lbs 15oz ... although I am sure they will still be my peanut and my bubba... even long after they are married with children of their own.

I am looking forward to the journey ahead, first words, first steps and tons of hugs and kisses. Its time for me to say goodbye to the blog.... although I have really had fun with it, all good things come to and end.... but I am sure I will find a new project to keep me busy :)

Much Love!
Heather

Busy busy...

UGH!!! It has been a crazy few days!! Not sure if you all remember the post back in November about the flood in our house... well it still stinks! We finally had everything taken care of with the insurance lady and so we had the repair man come out to start on Monday and as he opened the ceiling 2 things became very apparent....

1) WAY bigger problem then expected (as in the 2nd floor is sinking)
2) Boys and I have to get out of the house

I had planned on taking the babies to FL to visit everyone anyway but this moved our expected date up.... So even though the dining room and kitchen were covered in plastic life was still o.k. here as we have "baby camp" set up in the living room so the boys and I still had our regular play area unaffected..... wellllllllllll not so much. We had also had a small leak of a hose bib in the living room wall that was repaired back in Nov but we were waiting on having the drywall repaired until the rest of the damage from the flood were underway (figured one mess instead of two) thank God we did. When the guys went to open it today to do the repair the entire wall was moldy.. very thankful that the babies never got sick from this especially since this is the room we are in most of the time and more so that we hadn't closed the wall right away because this most likely would have gone undetected.... now the crappy part though is this room is off limits for awhile now too. Yep Boys and I are locked upstairs ALL DAY. They are not too happy about this. My babies are big schedule type babies.... not on the schedule & not having our regular playtime makes for 2 very cranky kids..... on top this fun stuff I needed to go to the OBGYN today... Oh... did I have a baby sitter.... NOPE... so yes that means me and 2 cranky babies (since they are hating life off their schedule) in the little tiny exam room... picture this...

Me, naked waist down, attempting to hold the paper napkin they call a "sheet" around my butt with one hand Weston in the other while rocking the stroller with my foot when the door opens.. nope they didn't knock first... so a few unsuspecting people got a wonderful view of my goodies... only to be followed up with the next picture...........

Me, laying down, feet in the stirrups, shushing the babies and one handed (could only use one since I really couldn't "move" if you know what I mean) rolling the stroller back and forth trying to get them to sleep all while getting violated by the Dr............ FUN TIMES!!!!

Oh but the really fun part was the 19489128197 million people that stopped us in the waiting room to talk to me about the boys.... not the usual questions like "are they natural?" these were about the little guy. Weston is red... often... he has crappy sensitive and dry skin. I lotioned him before we left the house so he wasn't shedding everywhere and he always gets a little red afterwards and stays that way for awhile (no he is not allergic to the lotion). So I got

"Oh that one is red......"
"Why is he so red?"
"Will he grow out of THAT?"

and then they were followed up by the next set because he also LOVES to scratch his face....

"Oh he scratched his eye... and his cheek...."
"In my country babies wear gloves so that doesn't happen..."
"Do you trim his nails"

Seriously people??? For one I don't care what happens in "your country" since you live here... this is now "your country". Yes they sell gloves but he has very tiny wrists and they won't stay on... yes sometimes I use socks instead but I also don't like to torture the poor baby.. I trim his nails ALL THE TIME they are like talons and he likes to stick he hands in his face, grab his binkie, rub his eyes.. scratches happen.. if thats the worst thing he has going on he is A-Ok in my book......

Yesterday we had his appointment with the G.I, doctor which went well but was overall not very enlightening but it was entertaining I guess........

"OBVIOUSLY he is eating fine....."-- This must be the polite way of saying my baby is chunky, I LOVE chunky babies :)

Next up was the "I know more then you" do nurse....

"he has cradle cap..."-wow thanks I hadn't noticed
"I know we have tried everything...."
"you have to use baby oil.." -because of course I hadn't thought of that
" we tried it....."
"you have to do it more then once a day" -Really??? No way....
"I do and I have tried just about everything else you could think of....."
"WELL you have to actually scrub it...."-what do you say to this crap??
"OH Really? I will do that next time" Whatever lady!!! I just had to make it stop hahahaha

This morning we are off to have the boys evaluated by the physical therapist. Our home nurse came out this week(she is the developmental screening nurse) and while both boys are doing great she wanted to get them the follow up. Weston has a tightness in both shoulders but.... it could just be because he is so chubby its hard to get to it :) After this apt I am meeting up with my moms group (one baby not the twins group) for lunch, first time attempting to eat out with them by myself....we'll see how that goes. I will keep you all posted on our adventures!!

Note to self....

Stop sounding like an idiot when taking videos of the babies................

As promised....

Pictures of the boys enjoying their new excersaucer. The design on this one is great because the toys are super close so their bitty little arms can reach everything (please note video of Weston).... and the best part is it turns into an activity table after the boys start walking so it will be around for a long time :)

Since I had a video of Weston I had added one of Jamison playing with his new rattle (I try to keep things fair around here hahaha) My parents got them rattles like I had when I was a baby and the little guys seem to really like them. I think its the size, fits their hands perfect.

Dr Apt :)

My boys are getting soooooo soooooo big!!! We went to our 4 month apt today and the boys did great!!! Jamison is weighing in at 12lbs 2 oz and Weston 11lbs 1oz!! Weston is really catching up. He has been consistently about 1 1/2 lbs less then his brother and now its only a pound! They have even started making it onto the charts for percentiles of their actual age instead of adjusted!! Well... both babies for their head size hahahaha Big noggins, must be all the brains, of course my babies are destined to be geniuses!!! LOL Jamison is also hitting it on height (he is a bit longer then Weston) Couldn't be any better. The Dr. was very impressed with how they are doing, so much that they are now getting to come off premiee formula with the added calories and onto regular baby formula and even ok'd to start solids!!! Makes me one proud momma!

They have really been good to me lately as well, going to bed at about 9:00pm then I give them a "dream feed" (its where you feed them without really waking them up) at 10-10:30 and they are sleeping until 6-7:30am!!! I give them their breakfast bottle and then they doze off again till about 8:30! I am VERY lucky :) On top of that Jamison has been starting the full belly laughs oh my goodness I LOVE IT, I could just eat him up!!! He has been doing a few giggles here and there but these big laughs started for the first time at my moms group on Tuesday.. not my twin group it was the group I met when I was pregnant. With bedrest and the NICU and crappy weather (I miss FL!!! ) it was the first time I got to meet up with them.... it was fun'ish- lets just say they are not the twin moms.... who like coffee and happy hour hahahaha they are more the clothe diapering, breastfeeding, formula is the devil kind.... (yes I am all for breastfeeding but I also think whatever makes a happy mom makes for a healthy baby). Weston has become my super happy smiley little thing.... seriously its adorable. I love first thing in the morning when I go to pick them up and Weston gives me the "hello mommy" smile and then little Jamison opens his eyes and giggles he is so happy to see me... they melt my heart!!!

On another note I made the best pork chops yesterday! We have soooo many pork chops in the house (they were on sale) and I didn't feel like same old grilled chops (that and its freaking cold outside! no one wants to stand in the snow to grill) I went online looking for recipes and couldn't find anything I had ingredients for so I made my own..... and they were delicious!! I mixed 1/2 pack of onion soup/onion dip mix with cream cheese and a bit of Parmesan cheese, sliced open the chops, stuffed this inside, used a toothpick to hold closed. Then on top I mixed some mashed potato flakes(I am on a wheat free kick so this is my sub for breadcrumbs, nice and crunchy) with some garlic powder, salt and pepper just sprinkled over them. Baked at 365 for thirty min but just before it was done I put some shredded mozzarella on top to melt. YUMMYYYYY so moist and tender and for sure not boring. You could even sub in low fat cream cheese and low fat mozzarella. I am always looking for easy good recipes so I figured I would pass it along. Pat loved them and I will for sure be making them again :)

Happy Thursday folks... babies new excersaucer (thanks Grandma) just got delivered so I am off to put it together. I am sure there will be pictures to follow!!! I have and old one from my daycare upstairs that they like (entertains them with just enough time to do my hair) but this one is the mac daddy so I am sure they will love it!!!

Smiles all around today!!

Usually as soon as I get the camera out both boys stop smiling completely.. I put it away and they break out the smiles again (stinkers!!!) but not today.... today they were all about smiling for momma.... You can see Weston was all cuddled up in his snuggly wrap for naptime when he decided it was time to play... and of course since it was so adorable I let him stay up just a wee bit longer :) Jamison talks and coo's so much he won't sit still long enough for a picture.... don't get me started on trying to give him a bottle. We have officially had to start a new rule- no eye contact- during his meal times. Lord help you if he sees you looking at him when he is trying to drink his bottle. He gets so excited, starts smiling and kicking his feet, its impossible............ impossible but very adorable :)

Sidenote- I have heard from a few people that unofficially you can use the baby Bumbo seats in the bath......Seriously let me save you all from some screaming and big time stress..... do not try to put Bumbo seats in the bath tub...... they float............. its like bobbing for babies and the babies were not loving that game. They were teetering left and right and freaked out and it wasn't like you could just pop one out and grab the other for fear they may flip over in the 2 seconds it would take. Yes I did note to myself they were kind of floating before I put the babies in there... BUT I did think their chunky butts would weigh it down.... not so much!!! Oh well I had good intentions. They LOVE their Bumbos so I figured it would be fun for them since they both like to kick their feet in the water. Oh well soon enough they will be sitting up all by themselves :)

Oh..... can't forget to mention as the babies were screaming their heads off and I was attempting to get them dressed after their terrifying Bumbo bath you would think that possibly Pat may have stepped in to help??? He did step in... and watched as I was dressing Weston (both hands full) and said "Jamison is peeing on you"......... did he attempt to cover the firehose of pee??? Nope just sat and watched........... Thanks captain obvious I would never have noticed the hot steamy wet spot all over my left arm and down my leg......MEN!!!!!

Anna Charlotte

When the boys were in the NICU I stayed on a pretty tight schedule at the hospital with visiting them and pumping in the pumping room.... this schedule was much like many of the other NICU moms. After running into the same ladies over and over I became friends with a few.

They tried to keep the pumping room very serene and quiet so there are lots of no cell phone signs and "quiet please" throughout the room. One morning I was the only person in there so I was chatting on my cell phone when I heard someone else come in. I am a big rule follower (although alot of other people broke the no cell phone rules all the time) so quickly I got off the phone when I hear from the other side of the curtain "no worries I use my phone all the time...". Through the curtain I "met" Kristy. We chatted about the nurses, our babies surprise early births and some of the struggles our babies were dealing with. Her daughter Anna Charlotte was born at 29 weeks at another hospital and was transferred to Fairfax since they were better suited to care for the smaller premiees. She told me the hardest part was watching the ambulance fly by her with the lights and sirens and knowing they had her tiny little baby inside.

We saw eachother often, getting updates on eachothers babies. She celebrated with me when Jamison came home and congratulated me when Weston did as well. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses to keep in touch and hope to get together for playdates when our babies were all home. Anna was born a few weeks after the boys and was a few weeks earlier so her NICU stay was going to be a bit longer.

Since I have been home we have exchanged emails checking in back and forth. She had a rough start in the beginning with multiple brain bleeds but was doing well, thriving and getting stronger everyday. Just before Christmas she told me Anna Charlotte was expected to be joining her family at home for the holidays. Last night I emailed her to see how they were doing............ I got the most devastating email back.....

Little Anna Charlotte passed away on December 23rd, just two days before she was to come home. She had came down with a sudden and aggressive case of NEC (no one knows what causes this disease but premiees are at high risk, NEC causes parts of the bowels to die, sometimes they can remove the effected area but unfortunately in 25% of cases its fatal).

I am so heartbroken for Kristy and her family. I can't imagine watching your precious baby suffer for so long in the NICU and to finally have overcome all obstacles and be so excited to have a date to bring your baby home and then to have a such a heartbreaking loss.....

Because of the NICU rules I never met this little baby, but I can assure you I will never forget her. She went through more in her short life then many will know in a lifetime and was taken from her family all to soon, but I know, as all things, God has a greater plan.

I am always grateful and thankful of how blessed our family is to have the boys come through their early birth, doing so well but times like this truly remind you how precious life is. Please keep Kristy and her family in your thoughts and prayers.