Everything happens for a reason.......

I say this often when things happen and often I don't know the reason at the time but sometime in the future I say something along the lines of "thank goodness this happened or else this would/wouldn't of happened"....... lately I have really been counting my blessings.

Remember a few weeks back when little Jamison was supposed to come home and he had a spell and wasn't able to? I was sooooo upset. I just wanted to be with him so badly and couldn't believe we weren't going to be able to.

Up until that point Jamison was going to be coming home all by himself, no monitor. I had joked with the Dr asking her to send him home on one just for my own sanity an she was like "it will just make you crazy, you won't need it". After the last spell she changed her mind and decided both boys would be coming home on monitors because "that little one can't be trusted" she joked. She stayed on the side of caution............ I will forever be grateful.

The last few weeks Jamison has been fantastic, no spells, no drop in heart rate, over all perfect... until the last few nights. He has been forgetting to breath while he is sleeping..... and sometimes it takes quite a bit of stimulation to get him to start again. The last two nights and during his nap today have been especially bad where its been 4-5 times within an hour. If he wasn't on the monitor, we could have lost him to SIDS... more then once. Ugh, just thinking about this makes me cry, I am so thankful medicine has come this far and I (and Pat) are able to help him and get to him in time.

When the Dr decided to send him home with the monitor they suggested a follow up with the pulmanary Dr within 2-3 weeks, and she said "usually with babies like him where this is as a precaution they discontinue use at the first appointment after looking at the read outs". They are a specialized practice and pretty hard to get into so I wasn't able to get an appointment until this week which is 4 weeks out... again I am counting my blessings. Had we been able to get an appointment at 2 weeks, he had been perfect, they would have most likely taken him off the monitor and this would be a much different post. Now at four weeks out its very clear he NEEDS this machine and more so ...........I NEED him to be on it. Its so scary and crazy. His problem was his heart, thats what he was being watched for and as it turns out its his lungs and breathing that are giving us trouble. Life is so fragil, him doing this just reminds me how fragil and how quickly we could have lost him.

The funny part of all of this is that my little peanut Weston is who I was so nervous to bring home. He was tiny and frail (not anymore, he is getting nice and plump) and was having spells up to the night before he came home... since he has been here he is just getting stronger each day, like my little super star.

Tomorrow is when we go to to the pulmanary Dr., they will do the read outs and be able to tell me more about whats really going on. They should be able to see if there is a trend in why or when this is happening. I know it can be caused by the reflux, if its hurting sometimes babies hold their breath, maybe he just needs a different medication or maybe its something different all together... but one thing is for sure I will be happy to have some answers.

On another note... Pat and I have a deal where I pick up the night time feedings and he... well.... doesn't (this is why I NEVER pick up dog poop, its also part of that deal) although I probably wouldn't have agreed had I known then we would be having twins :) Although I see it as Maggie will need her poop picked up for years... the boys will be waking up during the night for just a few months, so overall its not a bad deal really :) However the first thing in the morning feedings, like 6-7 am is no longer the night time right??? So the last two days I have been so sweet as to deliver the little ones to him... ok I am not that bad I give him one and I feed the other (well, that and if I gave him both to feed he might have a panic attack). The problem is he always wants to pick the easy one to feed- Weston. That boy can eat (or as Aunt Cookie would say "drink") a bottle with in 10 minutes and burp like a man right after, where his brother who is quite the bruiser, looking like he eats all the time, is a pretty slow eater, 20-30 minutes, likes to play with the bottle, licking it instead of sucking on it and takes alot of work to get to burp.... So this morning it was about 7:00 and I get Pat up and our conversation goes like this...

-so here are your options, both babies need to be feed one has a load in his pants- take your pick.

-no it doesn't work like that, I will feed Weston

-you can have Weston, but you'll have to change his hiny

-nope you can change him after

-sorry, you got to do the whole deal for whichever one you take

-ok I will feed Jamison

Lesson- Pat hates how long it takes Jamison to eat and how he plays with his bottle and lollygags.... however he hates poopy diapers more :) I laugh everytime I here Pat say "UGH!!! He is doing it agian, he is licking it!!!" I really need to get it on video.