I learned the hard way.......

Ok... to all of the yet to be pregnant ladies let me save you some heartache.... WHATEVER you do...

DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR PRE-PREGNANCY PICTURES until after you have returned to pre-pregnancy size.

My computer was running so slow today I decided to get rid of old junk stored on it to try and free up some space, figuring that would get this computer running with a little pep. I eventually mosey over to my picture files knowing I have tons of oldies from things I have sold on Craigslist, old craft projects, just random odds and ends I don't need anymore.

I like to reminisce, look through old pictures and remember the warm and fuzzy feelings when they were taken or the fun things we were doing.... and there I was looking at myself when I had cheekbones, one chin and a flat tummy.... ok so at that point I was feeling a little sorry for myself and my 30 pound weight gain......... and then I came across our most recent cruise pictures taken late last year.... I was in a bikini.... I won't lie, I fought back a few tears...

I think most of this is due to the fear of reading the scale tomorrow at my appointment. I know weight gain is part of carrying babies... more so with twins... but I am one to enjoy exercising and I have always just pictured myself walking and exercising through my pregnancy with a nice normal weight gain keeping everything easy to pop back after the baby(babies) came. So this 5 months of inactive, sitting here, having a huge spread in the old behind was not what I had in mind. I know I will work this off when I am done baking my babies... but I also know it took months for my body to get this way so I know it will take a few months to get back to where I was before.

Most people will say that I shouldn't worry about this stuff and that it doesn't matter... but I have always had issues with my body image and my weight and having dealt with that pretty much my whole life, not being in control of this has been a big adjustment. I eat well and do the best I can for the boys and I am on target for what the Dr's want so over all we are doing awesome... I just can't look at any more of those pictures.. until I look like that again :)

I will give more updates after my appointment tomorrow!!
~Heather