Wednesday 10/13/10

Today my babies are one month old! Happy birthday little guys :)

Pats mom and I hit our class today for how to operate the monitors for the boys... wow! It just kind of hit me... this is what life is going to be like. They talk about all of the emergency steps that need to be in place like your CPR guidelines, important phone numbers... calling the power company and phone company to tell them in case of outages they must turn ours on immediately due to life saving medical equipment.... its kind of scary. The thought of needing to give either of the boys CPR gives me the chills..... please God don't ever let us need to use it.... Just carrying the machines, which are compact and lightweight, made me think what its really going to be like when they come home (someday they will come home??? Right?). To go to the Dr. I am going to have two babies, two car seats, the stroller to put the seats in, two monitors, one large diaper bag, and my purse!!!! Thats alot to haul around, of course all worth it, but an armful for sure.

Westons test results to see if he was sick came back normal today... you would think that was great news right? Well it is, however since he is still having the problem with his temp (and loosing weight but they are more concerned with his temp) they are still a bit concerned... now they are saying it could be a brain bleed :( He doesn't have very many of the symptoms for one so I truly hope and pray this is not the case. I know brain bleeds are common in preemies but I still don't want that to be the cause, it just sounds awful. We should have those results in the next day or two. Other then that he had a pretty good day, tried to nurse him, to which he wanted absolutely nothing to do with and got to show off to Grandma who got to visit through the window of the nursery.

Jamison did well for his follow up with speech and had a great physical therapy apt. He was so alert doing all of his little exercises. He was staring at me while she was working with him like "what is going on?" he is so sweet... but really, really needs to stop the spells, mommy wants him home. He made some big improvements with the new thickened milk but he still had two quick ones. When we called tonight and I found out he had the second one I kind of lost it, just so upset. It has been a month and I just miss them both so much, babies are born and supposed to be with their parents.... with these spells it just feels like they are never going to get here, not to mention all of the things happening with Weston. I guess I have a bit of guilt because I have spent so much more time bonding with Jamison overall because Weston has been a bit more fragile, can't hold him as long because we need him warm or his oxygen drops so I have to put him in his bed to try to position him better... Every day that passes, is just one to many.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course my little boys are my world but I have learned two non baby related things in the last day......

1) Virgina has some freaky insects (and I thought Florida was bad) on the outside steps last night I saw a big spider and went to step on it... IT JUMPS!!! Of course, I did too when I saw that, guess I missed that lesson in science class! I think Pat thought I was crazy because when he saw it the thing was crawling away.... fast forward to 2:00 am. I am half asleep walked downstairs in the dark to put breast milk in the freezer, decide to hit the potty before heading back to bed... I see a spider on the bathroom floor.... I go to get it and sure enough it JUMPS!!! And jumps and jumps... for the record the LAST thing you want to do when you are half asleep in the dark in a very small bathroom is try to escape from a ticked off jumping spider, needless to say I was no longer half asleep, I was freaked out thinking its buddys were on me... I knew it wouldn't be him, I had him trapped under the plunger... a present for Pat (more like proof)... the only thing is he never got to see it. His mom is apparently way tougher then I am and after I warned her it was there she took care of it... and yes it did jump for her too, see I wasn't crazy :)

2) While nursing bras and tank tops are very convenient, beware those suckers are pressure loaded. It could be the giant knockers I have going on now but there is alot of tuggin happening to hoist these bad boys and the clips back in place........... yesterday I was just about to snap the clips and........I slipped........ proceeding to PUNCH myself in the face..... ummmmm??? Why are there no warning labels on this crap? They put "Hot" on coffee cups now for those idiots that may not know the possibility of the freshly brewed beverage inside the cup to be a tad warm..... what would be the harm in a quick note attached like "know that when lifting boobs twice your normal size there potential for bodily harm" or something along those lines :)