Thursday 9/15/10

Discharge day....

I went down early morning before I was discharged to spend some quality time with the boys.

Jamison- no big changes, still under the jaundice lights, and they added some more feedings.. he is doing great!! I loved holding my little man and helping out with his care. He got the hiccups and it made me laugh because of how often he had them in my belly.. the best part is he hiccups super loud!!! To hear such a loud noise from such a little man it hysterical! I also got to hear his first little sneeze! Adorable!!!

Weston- I got to see him for awhile and hold his hands and touch his little head... he is still under a significant amount of the jaundice lights, he is tolerating his food ok and is still struggling a bit with his breathing. He had yet another IV site go (there were a few since last time) and they are talking to us about doing a picc line... it goes right into hit vein into a main artery if needed and they said they would keep us posted... I sat and watched him and talked to him and... he too got the hiccups :)

We got everything together and we went down for a quick goodbye to the kids before leaving the hospital....Weston had an "episode" for the first time while we were at his bedside... it was the worst feeling and site I have ever been around for our baby's heart practically stopped right in front of us :( Pat and I were both so so so worried but they were able to bring his heart rate back up pretty quickly after stimulating him with some firm touches.... we left.... both of us so upset... you never want to see a baby suffer but when they have so much going on their little tiny frames already this was like the last thing you would want to see...........

For me the thought of going home was prety nice since I hadn't even breathed outside air for 7 weeks but knowing we were leaving our babies behind was heartwrenching... I would go in spells of being happy to be free in the regular world and then tears becuase of everything going on :( When I got home and saw all of their little baby things ready for them in the house and they were empty I lost it.... I tried to make myself feel a little better by getting a quick haircut.. great idea until I walked in and the lady noticed my arm bands(must wear until babies are home) and asked how old my baby was... when I told her three days and she looked at me funny and asked where they were... I couldn't hold it together I choked out "in the hospital"... needless to say she didn't ask anymore questions...... all the way up until bedtime every few minutes I would cry, knowing they weren't with us to blaming myself to just crying out of exhaustion it was a rough first night...